We all think about marriage sometimes because marriage customs are
so much a part of our culture. But we usually only know about our own
traditions and western traditions. How much do you know about weddings in
lesser known cultures? There are many marriage cultures in the world, which are
different from ours or similar to ours. Here are three that you will find
unique and interesting.
Afghanistan’s
marriage culture
Afghan marriage is determined by mutual agreement between a boy’s family and a girl’s family. Also, more than 50% of young girls marry older men when they are less than 18 years old. After proposal and acceptance, there will be an engagement party called ‘Henna night’. In this party, the bride and groom wear Afghan traditional clothes. Then, seven unmarried girls apply henna on the bride’s hand. It is believed that these seven girls will be the next to marry.
Finally, on the wedding day, the bride wears green clothes. And there is a religious ceremony, called ‘Nikah’. After Nikah, the bride wears white clothes and the groom wears a suit. Before cutting the cake, the groom’s sister performs a sword dance and asks her brother for money for the bride. If her brother gives money to the bride, the bride and the groom cut the cake and eat with each other.
Later, it’s time for the bride to leave her family. When she arrives at the groom’s house, she doesn’t come out of the car until she receives a beautiful gift. Then, during the wedding night, the bride and groom are covered in a chador, and they see each other through a mirror. In that state, they read the Quran, not facing each other, through the mirror reflection. Afterward, the bride’s family comes to the bride’s house and they bring her a lot of gifts. After this, the couple go on their honeymoon.
However, there are also serious problems in this marriage culture. Afghanistan’s women have much lower status than the other nations’ women. For example, a girl’s family often sends her to marry an old man to repay a debt. Also, if a married woman escapes from her house because of her husband’s violence, many people, including her father and brother, kill her. In Afghanistan, these killings are allowed and her family has the right to kill her. This is ‘honor killing’. Behind the fancy appearance of the wedding, these problems exist.
Mosuo marriage culture in China
The Mosuo, which is a Chinese ethnic minority group in the Himalayas, has a very unique culture. It is now the only existing “matriarchal” society in the universe. The Mosuo has the chief woman as the leader of the family and she chooses her successor from her daughters. The family lineage and property are passed from the mother and not from rhe father.
The Mosuo people have a very strange matchmaking system. It is called “Walking Marriage”: this is a relationship where a man walks to the woman’s house after dark, spends the night with her, and returns to his own house in the morning. Women choose men who will spend the night with her. Sometimes this relationship goes for years and even for a lifetime, but in these cases, sharing of property or houses do not happen. Actually, there is no “wedding” culture in Mosuo society.
When children are born, the father is not responsible for his offspring. In fact, some children don’t even know who their fathers are. If a father wants to have some relationship with his children, he has to bring gifts to the mother’s family. Then they allow him to get involved with the nurturing; but they don’t consider him as part of the family. The children are raised in the mother’s family, and take on her family name. This does not mean, however, that the men don’t take any responsibilities for children. Every man has the responsibility of caring for all children born from his own family members such as his nephews or nieces.
The result of this family formation is very strong and extremely stable. There are no specific words for murder and rape in their language. Another important result is that there is little preference for a particular gender. They only consider about the gender of the child when the gender balance is unstable.
Russian
marriage culture
There are many people in
the world who think Russian marriage culture is roughly similar to their
customs. But Russia has interesting marriage cultures.
Russians usually get
married when they are between 18 and 20 years of age. These people are students
who study in their second or third year at Russian universities. While
receiving material support from their parents, they get married with each other
until they earn their living themselves. When they are in their early 20s, they
judge it’s time to get married. 25 years-old is the age when people feel urgent
about marriage. In times past, the young women depended on shoddy
fortune-telling and wanted to obtain their husbands before it was too late.
However, recently Russians tend to get married later because they want to
invest in self- improvement and work harder.
When Russian couples
decide to get married, they must appear at ZAGS, a wedding registration place.
During the ceremony the couples exchange wedding vows and rings, sign the
registry and are officially pronounced husband and wife. And they take a
commemorative photograph at the registry office. Next, they pay a silent
tribute with an offering of flowers at a place where they admire martyred
patriots in the city hall square.
There is another traditional ceremony where the groom goes to the bride’s home and must pay a “ransom,” a price for the bride’s body, to her family. The entire event is played out in a comical fashion and everyone is entertained. First, the groom comes and gives something (often jewelry or money) to the family of the bride. Next, the family of the bride brings out a person who is not the bride, covered in a veil so that the groom can’t see her face. If he realizes that is not the bride, he asks for the bride. The family will demand a bigger ransom to be paid until they are satisfied.
We talked about
these marriage cultures. Russia, China, and Afghanistan have very different
weddings. So, what did you think when you read this article? How do you imagine
your marriage life? Would you like to get married according to Afghan, Musuo or
Russian traditions? Or, if you were to get married, would you rather stick to
Korean customs?